There is a saying from Machiavelli that says “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer”. As an astute 15th Century Italian politician and philosopher he understood the pragmatic implications of ethics and politics, and he understood the power of relationships and information. What would he have made of the modern social networking world in which many of us play?
How do we go about deciding who our friends are and how do we determine what constitutes friendship? According to Facebook today I have 368 friends, moderate by some standards. Being a highly social person the chances are that I may even get to see most of them this year.
Is the way we connect and communicate confusing our own understanding of friendship – are all of these people guaranteed to be positive and affirming people in my life? I would like to think so, but would I expose my soul to all of them in equal measure? About 300 of my contacts are really just acquaintances or businesses with whom I have a positive connection and a genuine interest in; just over 60 of them are people I engage in regular conversation with and would probably tick the ‘friend’ box; 1 of them is my husband; and that only leaves about 4.
These four are the ones who really know me, who love, support, inspire, challenge and trust me in a well-rounded balanced way. That does not mean to say that I don’t enjoy elements of these things in other relationships that I have with people, it just means that I don’t l expect the 368 people on Facebook to have all of these things rolled into one. We do not have to compete with friends; we celebrate their lives as much as our own, and vice versa.
A Maori proverb puts it in perspective: “He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tangata! He tangata! He tangata!” – “What is the most important thing in the world? It is people! It is people! It is people!”
As you embrace 2011 take a moment to think about your friends, what you mean to them and what they mean to you. You cannot fail to make this year one of the most rewarding and fulfilling years in your life if you put energy into the people that matter most to you.
Machiavelli was not right; never keep your enemies closer than your friends. Home is where your friends are, and nothing should come between you.